Jay Swanson

@jayswanson

YouTuber and creator of @paris.in.my.pocket Traveling to Paris soon? Grab my guide below for 100s of recommendations ⬇️
Followers
Posts
Engagement
Updated: 9 hours ago Refresh
Quick Actions
Profile link copied.
Pictures & Media Stats

Top Instagram Posts of Jay Swanson

Jay Swanson’s Most liked posts from the last 30 uploads.

Highlights

Media Stats – Instagram Posts

Recent 30 posts with likes and comments overview.

Media overview
Published Caption Likes Comments
My first vacation in five years... it's over now, but it was much needed. I shared a little about it on Substack last week (don't worry, I pre-planned it and Emily scheduled it). To read more, comment SUBSTACK ME

#Substack #Vacation #BusinessOwner #France 2025-09-25 20:14:33 My first vacation in five.. 215 -45% 3 -91%
If only hiyahealth made vitamins for grown ups, because they're truly delicious. Use my code JAY50 for 50% off your first order.

#Ad #TravelforKids #Travel #HealthyKids 2025-09-24 15:36:49 If only hiyahealth made v.. 92 -77% 9 -72%
What's more chill than a little drink while you read in the sun in the very center of Paris? Drinking culture is one of the big differences with life in Europe as a whole, and I would miss it far too much to ever consider leaving it (among about 20 different things I would miss too much to ever leave). Kick back, open your book, and of course, drink responsibly out there ;D

#LivinginFrance #Culture #SummerDays 2025-09-24 14:19:32 What's more chill than a .. 458 +16% 19 -40%
It wasn't enough, but I'm glad I finally took a vacation. I didn't post, didn't look at stats, open slack, respond to emails or DMs... I read five books, got 70+ Invaders across four towns and cities, cooked, slept, and generally did as little as possible. I also got Cooper a new Christmas sweater but you'll have to wait to see that.

I had more than one conversation with local French people about how much time they get off; they were universally appalled at how little vacation I've taken (this was my first since Sept 2020). It always led to the same conversation about cultural differences between France and the US. Honestly, they're right to be appalled. One traveling duo I met each get 10 weeks paid vacation PER YEAR. 

My new goal: ascend to full French vacation mode. Turns out I kinda like it. It could be argued that I need it.

#photodump #vacationmode #southoffrance🇫🇷 

Places shown: Sète, Avignon, Perpignan, Montpellier, & Nîmes 2025-09-23 14:15:29 It wasn't enough,.. 742 +88% 21 -34%
I pretended not to speak French for years with my students. The first two times I lived in France was as an English assistant, first in Nice and then Sarcelles which is just outside of Paris. Both times my head teacher asked me to pretend not to speak French in hopes of encouraging the students to speak more English with me - and for whatever reason I decided I'd say 2025-09-22 16:25:39 I pretended not to speak .. 279 -29% 22 -31%
I joke that I never really developed my own Theory of Mind - that realization that no one has insight into the inner workings of anyone else’s mind. We’re all creating theories to understand each other, which also leads to the realization that no one can read your mind in turn.

I still tend to think that if I know something, everyone else probably does too. But beyond keeping me honest, this weird way of seeing the world means that I also thought everyone knew how anxious I was at any given moment. How awkward or out of place I felt. I made a lot of excuses for myself.

This came up recently because I made a video about needing a vacation and felt self conscious admitting how tired I was. Not because there’s anything wrong with being tired, but because ‘tired’ was a state that I used to explain away my discomfort with so many situations in the past. I didn’t know that’s what it was. I just had “I’m tired” as a ready response to keep expectations low, let people know in advance I probably wasn’t going to be on point.

I’m a lot more comfortable with myself these days. I don’t feel the need to make excuses for myself anymore; I am as I am. But I am currently very tired. And as I work a little extra hard to ensure that things run without me for a couple of weeks, I’m starting to say it more than I’d like (I probably say it more than I realize in any case, and now that I’ve written this publicly I’ll be reminded of that all the time, I’m sure). And that’s ok.

People might know, in fact they probably do because I certainly don’t look well-rested lately, let alone daisy-fresh. And that’s ok. It just leaves me reflecting on how they probably never knew how anxious or awkward I really felt in the past. How I didn’t need to worry about letting them down as a result. How I could have just been myself and let that be enough.

That said, I’m sure I’ll feel better after a couple of weeks off.

#Turning40 #40by40 #Trauma 2025-09-21 20:02:08 .. 86 -78% 1 -97%
Seriously Britain... gross. But also seriously you can take this iteration if it pleases you. But knowing you sickos, I bet it won't. Also side-PSA: if you're stepping into the street in Paris, even if you think it's a one-way street (even if you KNOW it is), be sure you look both ways. Don't end up being a yummy splatter on the yummy asphalt why do I keep using that word now

#YummyMummy #DisgustingPhrases #Dummy #ParisStreets 2025-09-20 15:03:12 Seriously Britain... gros.. 140 -64% 21 -34%
Seriously, am I the only one? The problem with making this video is that now I'm noticing it even MORE 🙃 Oh well, I guess that's what I get for being lazy and listening to the same thing.

#Spotify #PetPeeve 2025-09-19 14:58:41 Seriously, am I the on.. 94 -76% 12 -62%
Is it worth going home? I wrote this one a while back, and being back in the States at this moment, the question still feels relevant. To read the whole think, check out my Substack page. I'll send it to you via DM if you comment SUBSTACK ME.

#France #NormandyBeaches #Travel #Home 2025-09-18 19:40:16 Is it worth going home? I.. 185 -53% 16 -49%
I am full of incredible potential. I have been convinced of this since I was a kid. I hoped others would see it in me, call it forward, and thrust me into domains I knew I could conquer. Frustratingly, with unnerving consistency, they did not.

How does no one realize what I’m capable of?

What I wish I figured out much faster is that people only know you in so far as they can see you.
And no one can see your potential unless either they really know you, or they’re projecting something on you.

What I really craved was a stable foundation from which to try. What I hoped for was someone to reach down and say, hey, I see it, just keep at it and you’ll get there. I didn’t know how to bring what I had to offer into existence, and so I kept it hidden and held onto hope in some outside force.

There’s an inverse to this: seeing too much in someone else. Projecting what they could be, how you see them growing or evolving. Falling in love with this phantom of your own creation. I’ve done this as well. Taking a laugh and a touch of kindness and extrapolating that into love, into the outside force for which I’ve been waiting.

There is a middle ground in here, a middle ground I’ve approached in the last few years. For my part, there is no impressing others or demonstrating what I can do without actually doing it. There can always be a lot of talk, big promises and gusto, but actions don’t just speak louder than words, they endure and outlast them as time erodes anything else to vanishing memory.

As for others, let them be who they are.

When I first got Cooper I wanted him to play with every dog we met. The better I could socialize him early on the better he’d do in life, I figured. But there were people we came across who were too scared to let their dog play with mine. Others who simply crossed the street as soon as they saw us. Initially I was offended. I realize he can be a spaz, but Cooper just wants to play.

[Continued in the comments]

#Turning40 #40by40 #Trauma 2025-09-17 19:44:57 I am .. 142 -64% 8 -75%
It's kind of like realizing you have a stain on your shirt right as you walk into the bar, or make the mistake of wondering how your breath is faring when it's too late to scramble for a mint. All the more reason to bake an extra 20min into your routine before leaving the house... if you cannnnn

#GRWM #DateNight #ParisDating #LifeinParis 2025-09-16 19:29:14 It's kind of like realizi.. 210 -47% 9 -72%
Am I the only one making mistakes in French around here? It feels that way sometimes. The fastest way to get better, I found, was just to ignore that pain and lean in harder. I was really lucky to have a friend in Nice who was relentless in her corrections. She would let nothing slip. Sounds brutal, but after the third time getting corrected for the same mistake, you'll catch yourself the fourth (or if you're smarter than me, maybe after the second). In daily life here I just worry about making sure I'm understood and trying my hardest to understand. It's a lot easier after living here for so long, but I still have my days.

#French #LearningFrench #FrenchCulture 2025-09-15 21:03:55 Am I the only one making .. 359 -9% 9 -72%
I was really idealistic growing up. Passionate about so many things. Youth (I say this with full knowledge that I’m not OLD, don’t worry) is often associated with this kind of unrealistic aspirational fervor. Age, of course, is associated with a darker cynicism. Somewhere in the middle is a sense of realism, but it can be easy to skip from the former to the latter.

The world is broken and unjust and we should work to change it, but perhaps saving it on our own is a little out there. At the same time, we can have an impact immediately around ourselves. We can invest in our communities. We can do something.

I recently picked up a new hobby in 3D printing, circuitry, and modding. I’m early on with it, and I’m not sharing anything online because I’m trying to actually have a hobby and I need to stop turning everything into content, but of course it will become content somehow at some point, and if it does so in any way I hope it’s this: it’s left me with a new sense of empowerment.

I’ve missed being able to work with my hands. Build stuff. Fix things. I’ve gotten a few tools here and there for projects around my apartment but urban living, especially in Europe’s most densely populated capital, doesn’t leave much space for workshops. I want to make stuff. And suddenly, with a 3D printer and some basic 3D modeling skills, I can solve random pain points in my life.

I have become the proverbial hammer, and everything is a nail.

I’ve made some really random stuff to solve niche problems, like a custom hook for the shelf in my hallway so I have somewhere to hang my trash when I’m taking it out. I don’t wear shoes in my apartment so I have to tie my shoes in the hallway. The bag gets bored waiting and invariably flops over to entertain itself. It’s a mess. Now I can hook the bag on the shelf and it doesn’t matter how bored the bag gets. It’s not going anywhere.

Suddenly annoyance isn’t a cause of frustration, it’s a signal that something is wrong. Something that can surely be fixed.

[Continued in the comments]

#Turning40 #40by40 #Trauma 2025-09-14 20:57:16 .. 129 -67% 3 -91%
I actually confronted one of my college professors about this and he swore he warned me. Which may be technically true (let's be honest, he wouldn't lie) but it certainly wasn't prevalent enough to stick. I think this is a flaw in how we teach languages. Though I'm definitely a fan of the traditional classroom methods overall, a focus on proper grammar can lead us into silly territory when we come out speaking like aristocrats on the other side. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's easier to get less formal than the inverse, but definitely can catch you off guard.

#FrenchLanguage #FrenchTips #FrenchCulture 2025-09-13 14:54:51 I actually confronted one.. 407 +3% 17 -46%
The French make wonderful friends, it can just take some patience to get some. Transience helps, so new jobs or new schools, wherever you're at in life. When people are ready to mingle or have to see your face every day for a set period of time, making friends gets easier. But showing up regularly at a social club, making yourself a regular at a bar or coffee shop - so much of it comes to regularity. Showing your face. The recognition that comes with repetition. It's worth the effort. But don't forget how important your fellow internationals can be for emotional support along the way (the average French person has no real idea why you're stressing your visit to the prefecture after all).

#FrenchCulture #FrenchFriends #AbroadInFrance 2025-09-12 18:54:24 The French make wonderful.. 1,019 +159% 45 +42%
Everyone's out to steal from you; at least that's what it feels like on the internet these days - especially when you're planning a trip. How much negative, fear-mongering content can one internet hold? Bringing back this post from April where I discuss safety in travel, and how to best plan your trip to this city I call home. To read the full article, comment SUBSTACK ME, and I'll DM you the link to my page.

#Substack #Tourism #TravelAdvice #ParisTraval 2025-09-11 16:14:37 Everyone's out to steal f.. 308 -22% 15 -53%
I’m not sure that there’s an order of operations when it comes to healing. I think a lot of it happens all at the same time, often surreptitiously until suddenly you realize things don’t hurt as much as they used to. My last post kind of bridged the gap between sections here, leading into trauma and development. Neglect mapped my brain to see the world as a hostile place that wouldn’t give me what I needed no matter what I did: ask, dance, laugh, cry, or beg.

It also left me without comfort.

I don’t know when I was first able to tell myself it was going to be ok and believed it. I wanted someone who knew better to do it for me. This is a childhood desire, and a natural one. We trust the people raising us to know what’s going on, to have our best interest at heart. I don’t know what that handover looks like when securely attached people take on the role of self-parenting. I do know that self-parenting can’t happen without self-trust.

While I don’t know if learning to trust myself came before learning to love myself, I think they grew in tandem, but I do know I never looked to myself for comfort before trust formed. It came in small but meaningful steps. Finding out someone I didn’t feel safe around was going to be at a party and opting to skip, where in the past I would have gone and just tried to play it cool. I felt some severe FOMO, but the next day I felt calmer. I noticed an actual change. I’d acted to protect myself, and there was a new level of trust.

This didn’t happen overnight of course. It took a lot of little steps, boundaries set, distances kept, even better preparing for trips or spending a little money on myself where usually I’d have cheaped out. My anxiety over all kinds of situations ebbed as I learned I could trust myself to handle them. As I started regularly prioritizing my own needs.

As I stood up for me the way no one else had.

[Continued in the comments]

#Turning40 #40by40 #Trauma 2025-09-10 20:26:10 .. 113 -71% 12 -62%
It's been a week. See who you recognize as you swipe. New York, wish I didn't have to leave you so quickly - I'll be back (and don't destroy any more 👾 while I'm away!)

#newyorkcity #september2025 #photodump 2025-09-09 22:22:24 It's been a week. See .. 634 +61% 41 +29%
Just be sure you don't go too crazy with this one. I love this French word but it can feel a bit forced if you aren't careful. Otherwise, let's be honest, it's perfect.

#FrenchLanguage #FrenchCulture #FrenchSlang #Travel 2025-09-08 16:19:19 Just be sure you don't go.. 374 -5% 11 -65%
I grew up under the oppressive weight of shame, from a surprising number of directions. I was just talking with my sister about this, how one source would have been challenge enough. But body shame was something inflicted on me not just from society at large (something I think men are only falling prey to more and more the deeper we tumble down the Marvel rabbit hole), but directly from my parents. It’s something I now know a lot of people have had to overcome, but it took me until my 30s to realize it had even happened in the first place.

One anecdote will suffice: when I was something like ten years old, the time my mom made my dad and I take our shirts off at her friend’s house to show them how we both had the same love handles. How she made us turn in place. Jump. I remember burning with embarrassment. She always knew how to find the best jokes, my mom. You can imagine how I might have internalized a sense of being unattractive.

And while this isn’t itself the root of my struggle with worthiness, with a sense of being lovable, it certainly illuminates it. There are lots of angles from which to view this. Far too many stories. I could share more but I fear it would quickly become a laundry list of abuse. You get it; the message of unworthiness was repeated ad nauseum.

This lack of love and nurture we call neglect left me with a serious problem as a kid. I knew at an instinctual level that I needed these things, that I wanted them, and at the same time I was consistently reminded of my shortcomings… so clearly the problem was with me. I was broken. How do I fix it then? How do I fix me, so I can be loved?

As an adult I know that this isn’t correct, but that’s with hindsight and a healthy dose of therapy. And so I know that at the root of my struggles with my body and my appearance, the real root is my struggle with lovability. So the solution to the problem isn’t to get fit, because that was never the problem. The solution is to find some way to love myself, to provide what I was never given.

[Continued in the comments] 

#Turning40 #40by40 #Health #Wellness 2025-09-07 20:34:17 I grew up u.. 181 -54% 7 -78%
Do you call them all cathedrals? I did for a verrrry long time. I don't know who it was that first told me 2025-09-06 22:02:56 Do you call them all cath.. 296 -25% 12 -62%
Do you do footing? I did footing for years, and now I don't do footing anymore because my trainer _bjward has me off it. Also did reading that sentence make your toes curl? And not from memories of doing footing. Yeah. Franglais is weird, like I said, but also amazing in the weirdness. What Franglais phrase have you heard that made doing footing sound downright normal?

#Footing #French #Franglais #FrenchCulture 2025-09-05 22:01:55 Do you do footing? I did .. 229 -42% 7 -78%
Beard or no beard? That is the question. I've spent most of my adult life bearded, though when I was younger it was a combination of laziness and maybe wanting to hide half of my face. Honestly I just thought it was cool that I could grow a beard. Styling it consistently was something that came much later.

#Beard #GRWM #SelfCare 2025-09-04 14:31:21 Beard or no beard? That i.. 215 -45% 38 +20%
My mom died two days ago, or maybe it was three now; it's hard to tell with time zones and early morning phone calls from family waiting to go to bed. It came as a total surprise. She was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s almost 20 years ago. We thought she had another 20 in her.

Her mother lived into her 90s and only died this year. Grandma Jane and my mom, both gone in a year. As of writing, I’m still not sure what happened.

The political way of putting it, how one might normally eulogize, would be to say that my relationship with my mom was complicated. The honest thing to say is that as a child she was my principal antagonist. The strength of her active antagonism waned as I entered adulthood, but her voice remained a live wire embedded under my skin, constantly shorting an open nerve to my core. Taking up space and blending in.

According to the books I’ve read, the wounds she left are of the kind that don’t fully heal. But I have steadily decoupled that wire over time, disentangling it from my nervous system. The process has been painful, but productive.

I could write a book about what I've learned in the last six years. About the realizations and the work that resulted, or the work I put in and the realizations that followed. It's an endless cycle with no definitive cause or effect, but one that I have thankfully found to be virtuous. Work I have dedicated myself to in spite of the dark agony it has consistently resurrected.

My mom didn't just make me feel isolated throughout childhood, her voice followed me as if it were my own and pushed that isolation into every crevice of adulthood. Unfortunately the neglect I suffered left me without the ability to secrete or enjoy the effects of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, at least in doses or at the speed with which I wish I could. I often struggle to put to words the sensations this entire process has either put me through or revealed about my past, but there's a really important one that came to me yesterday.

[[To continue reading, comment SUBSTACK ME and I'll DM you a link to my Substack]] 2025-09-03 19:45:57 My mom died two d.. 2,241 +469% 404 +1,175%
September got off to a rough start but I'll share more about that tomorrow. In the meantime, August ended on a high note with kmriaweber getting hitched to remi.crl and some last glimpses of glorious sunshine before plunging straight to rainy fall.

I did a better job of holding myself together at Kate's civil reception than I did their engagement party. But it's crazy to see someone I've known for basically my entire Parisian life graduate, work for me, get hired elsewhere, find love, and get married. There was something truly substantial about it beyond the simple beauty of the joy we all felt.

I am lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful people. 🥰

#paris #august2025 #photodump 2025-09-02 22:05:06 September got off to a.. 699 +77% 30 -5%

On average, Jay Swanson gets 394 likes and 32 comments per post. (Historical)

Post Stats Chart

Trends for likes, comments, and caption length from the last 30 posts.

Chart
Jay Swanson Instagram Profile Picture

Jay Swanson can charge up to $10 USD per Instagram post.

Typical range: $6 – $10 USD
Share earning estimate

Jay Swanson Profile Picture
Jay Swanson
Up to $10 USD / post · RateXYZ

Related Instagram Accounts

View all
Tracked since Sep 26, 2025
Updated: Sep 26, 2025
Time Zone: Asia/Kolkata

Not found? Add account

Find profiles fast. Paste a full URL or type a @username.

Tip Press / to focus search