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Boom! What's hattnin? We're back ont road again! Popped down to wildoak_coffee in Kingscourt Co. Cavan way back in the summer of 2025 to see what these toasties are sayin'. Love a toastie on a Saturday afternoon. 

Went for the cajun chicken, which definitely was the correct shout. I was absolutely flabbergasted when I saw such a well seasoned piece of chicken in Cavan of all places. Last time I was in the area I had to go to the 'foreign food' section in the soopervalya to find salt and pepper. I even bravely asked one of the lads in the shop if they had any avocado, and he rang the priest cuz he thought I was speaking in tongues. 

This is the type of sandwich I love. Covers all bases without being overbearing at any point. You got the spice from the big lumps of chicken, bitta sweetness from the roasted red pepper, cheesiness from the cheese, fresh earthiness from the pesto, and great crisp from the sourdough. Was also more filling than a Christmas shtawkin. 

A spot like this is a breath of fresh air for the area. Bumps it up to flavour town status for sure, and launches Kingscourt into the new millenium. Gone are the days where a 3 day old jambon reheated on a radiator is your only lunch option. Coffee was excellent too. 

Usually I'd charge £1500(excluding vat) for a review like this, but this time it's on me. Proper daycent munch, lads! 

8.2 2025-07-21 22:20:25 Boom! What's hattnin? We.. 70 -57% 5 -55%
Do I wear a t-shirt in the swimming pool? Yes. Did I have to order a box of salted caramel brownies to be delivered to my front door? Also yes. 

taragartlanchocolate has been cranking out the most aesthetically pleasing treats for a hot minute. Do not be fooled by my consistently shoddy imagery, this box is a beaut. I feel like I should be wearing white gloves just to handle this packaging. If you scribbled your CV on a lump of this box, you'd get the job immediately. No questions asked. 

After I polished off the lid, I thought i better give the actual brownies a go. Again, just look at them. Absolute rides. Fudgey. Moist. Salty. Caramelly. Rich. Indulgent. Yet light and moreish. Me poor aul kettle has been workin serious overtime since this box landed let me tell ya. 

Btw, these are completely gluten free. I feel like Big Gluten has been gaslighting us this whole time cuz these brownies are up there with some of the best I've had. Let the coeliacs in your life know that they're being repped in a big way here. 

Carrickmacross has been milking the fact that Ardal O'Hanlon is from there for too damn long now. Move over Dougal, these brownies are putting Carrick back on the map! When I first laid eyes on these goodies I was thinking 2025-05-17 15:23:18 Do I wear a t-shirt in th.. 81 -51% 4 -64%
This curry is so hot it actually rattled me out of retirement. charkleydao is to blame. For the record, I paid for this product myself; in more ways than you'll ever know. 

Dao's is a young Irish curry brand taking the country by storm. Firestorm morelike. Fuckin hell. Feels like I'm after shiftin' a toaster. It didn't smell very aggressive as it was bubbling away there. Deceptive bastard. 

Unfortunately this product is produced in drawda. They must've taken inspiration from the bleak hellscape around them when they were formulating this unforgiving molten sauce. Now I get why everyone in drawda sounds like they just burnt their tongue. 

Absolutely does what it says on the tin with the minimal ingredients list. A strong veggie backbone provides a clean fresh flavour, while the chillis whack on a lingering and persistent heat. Kind of heat you need to buckle up for. Once it gets going, it shows no sign of slowing down. 

Usually I would advise anyone to get a tetanus shot after handling anything that's been within 5km of drawda, but this should be more than spicy enough to kill any mutating shelbyvillian bacteria. 

This level of heat is definitely on the high side for me. Maybe I would've been better off using it as a dip instead of pouring a pint of it onto my dinner, but we don't do half measures around here. 

If you're not looking to burn calories while you eat them, I'd recommend playing it safe and going with the standard Dao's curry. It's a definite crowd pleaser, while Classified Heat is for those of you who wish to willingly sweat while you eat. 

Great to see more and more Irish products hitting the shelves. Even more so when they're only up the road. Big moves being made in the wee county!

Anyways,  for this satanic sauce, a very fitting 

6.66

DAO'S! 2025-04-15 00:12:09 This curry is so hot it .. 118 -28% 20 +80%
Nearly got boned on the way to order this magnificent feast; yellow reg blasted through the red light and my life flashed before my eyes. Turns out my life is basically a 14hr compilation of me eating sandwiches in Macs. I have lived well. 

Christmas has finally landed on the Castletown Road. This year, the world famous Filthy Animal has been given a serious steroid injection, and the Filthy Yorkshire was born. 

I'm a massive advocate for all meals to be portable, and all food receptacles to be edible(where technology will allow it). Mac's have accomplished just that, with this giant Yorkshire pudding housing a huge helping of festive fries. 

My fork got busy off the jump, and when the time was right, I fashioned myself a Christmas kebab; finally achieving 100% portability. Gone are the days when you must first pull over to eat your dinner. Probably why yon yellow reg near cut me in half. Eyes glued to the decades of handheld culinary advancements before them. You have my forgiveness. 

This meal has it all: crispy fries, savoury stuffing, tender turkey and ham, rich chuggable gravy, on a crisp airy plate. 

Don't expect to get any work done after this cuz it is a hefty feed. You'll definitely be dropping a CV into the nap factory after this one. 

Of course the sandwich option is still available, but if you're feeling particularly ravenous, the Filthy Yorkshire is for you. 

Ho fuckin' ho. 

9.4 2024-11-16 18:25:56 Nearly got boned on the w.. 198 +20% 9 -19%
Food is culture, and like food, culture is better when shared. I love seeing places like this open up and offer us civilians a taste of home away from home. We're in toogood_ie 

I've never sampled Nigerian cuisine before, and while I admittedly played it safe for my first time, I must say I'm immediately impressed. Jollof rice, suya chicken, mac & cheese, and TG fried chicken. This is pure comfort food. A culinary hug whether you need it or not. It almost made me feel nostalgic for a time and place I've never been. 

The hefty portion of jollof rice was fluffy, spicy, and flavourful. l could happily eat a bucket of this stuff on it's own. It's that good. The creamy mac offered a place of solace from the spice on occasion, while accompanying it very well at the same time. 

The chicken suya was tender, juicy, nutty, and delicious. Much milder in spice than the jollof, so they got to bounce off each other quite nicely. 

The house fried chicken is insane. Up there with some of the best I've had anywhere. I was absolutely raging I only ordered one piece. Raging. I will not make that mistake again.

This meal was just an absolute joy to eat. Wholesome 'stick to your ribs' comfort food. My tastebuds were tantalized af. 

This is the kind of food that just makes everything better. Wife ran off with the Pilates instructor next door? Grab a plate. Boss selfishly promoted someone more deserving than you? Grab a plate. Your new ex wife kicked you off the ex family Netflix account? Grab a plate.

These guys have certainly earned their name! It's too good not to share. Everybody eats!

9.3 2024-09-28 23:56:51 Food is culture, and like.. 148 -10% 11 -1%
Alcohol has not been playing a recurring role in my life as of late. Perhaps making a brief sporadic cameo throughout the seasons. One thing, however, remains constant; the hungover mind is as sure as the rising sun. Having risen from an inebriated slumber, my body yearned for one thing, and one thing only: a class sandwich.

I, a dishevelled argonaut, embarked on a daring mission over the border to have my very specific, and crucial needs met.

Our destination was thefoodmarketnewry and our journey was not without it's perils. Each kilometer on the odometer brought with it a new reason to kill this pint sized character off entirely. 

I opted for The Chuckwagon sub. Having nearly stopped my wagon to chuck up on the side of the road on the way there, I felt my destiny was pre-written. If you don't believe in fate, let this be your sign. 

A soft roll which was dramatically fresher than I was, contained tender beef brisket, juicy garlic chicken, savoury stuffing, crisp crispy onions, sharp cheddar, and a creamy gravy mayo. In a valiant act of gluttony, I also ordered the loaded fries variant. 

This meal saved my life and asked for nothing in return (bar a nominal obligatory fee of course) and thusly has been put forward to become a recipient of the Medal of Honour. 

This sandwich was a sum of all it's parts; coherent flavourful bites elevated it far beyond just a chicken sandwich with beef on it. Each filling played a pivotal role, and carried their own weight equally. 

Every bite brought with it a momentary pause for reflection. 2024-08-28 23:48:17 Alcohol has not been play.. 93 -44% 5 -55%
After seeing all the scandalous posts about Irish 2024-08-04 17:47:27 After seeing all the sca.. 255 +55% 14 +26%
One week ago, I awarded my first ever 10.  Today I returned to attempt to relive the glory. Same dish, 7 days apart. 

This may be the biggest fall off in history since Humpty Dumpty.

While I stand by my previous score, I can no longer recommend this place at such a high level. I gave it a 10, and today they handed me back a 4. What a slap in the face. 

I feel like I told you all to put your life savings on a horse, only to see it's leg break before making it out the gate.

This is a completely different dish to what I received last week. Greasy baby potatoes instead of crisp potato cubes, crumbled pudding instead of a hefty slice, globs of a taco sauce, sweaty side salad, whole thing absolutely swimming in oil. What the hell happened?! Massive, unforgivable inconsistencies. What happened?! I knew that I'd have to defend a score of that magnitude, but this latest offering doesn't give me a leg to stand on. 

I'm actually shook. Shook. 

This meal is your brain on drugs. This is Mr Bean's great cover up. 

Obviously scores can fluctuate depending on the day, but this is just so far removed from what I got last week that I had to issue a damn public statement. Absolute mess. How do you go from a picture perfect breakfast to something your stoner buddy would make and post on Snapchat with the caption 2024-08-01 21:28:28 One week ago, I awarded m.. 138 -16% 19 +71%
Long time no see, eh? Thought it'd be best to provide a wee life update to explain my long and unnoticeable absence: been busy.

Now that we have that out of the way, throw your eyeballs at this beautiful box of atin'. If this is the quality of presentation in a takeaway box, I can only imagine the artwork on your plate if you sit iddin. Food must be served on a photo of England fans crying or something.

We're in therabbithole_dundalk Newest cafe on the block, in the former home of xxxxxice. Place looks fabulous, I must say. Bright, airy, and absolutely spotless. That's right, I said fabulous. 

Went for potato hash. Two of your teenage son's favourite things combined. A perfectly cooked egg sits atop a layered mound of potato cubes, crispy onions, pancetta, sautéed onions, and fancy sauce. Alongside is a healthy lump of top notch black pudding, with a zesty side salad. 

This breakfast ticks every single box for me. Great variety of textures and flavours, light yet filling, and it looks just as good as it tastes. Has everything you need, and more. Pure comfort food. 

Another perfect example of taking a classic dish, and just doing it better. The coffee even came with a fancy little biscuit. I didn't deserve it, but they still gave it to me. Little details that elevate the experience. There's a lot of pride in this place and it's evident everywhere you look. 

Get in here and see for yourself. Bring your mammy. Throw a blindfold on her beforehand and she'll think you brought her to Milan. Brownie points. You're welcome. 

I can't find a single fault, or substitution I'd make. I really can't. So for the first time in FRHQ history, it would be a public disservice to give it any less than a well deserved perfect score. 

Take a bow!

Montown. 

10 2024-07-24 16:52:07 Long time no see, eh? Th.. 179 +9% 8 -28%
Recently I asked the public to recommend 3in1 spots that are on par with Connie's; the last standing powerhouse of House Lam. It's opening hours grow more scarce by the week, and I fear that substitutions will soon have to be made. 

Can New Woks Fryin stand on the shoulders of giants?

No. No they cannot.

This should actually be a called a 3 +1, cuz you'll definitely still be tasting this curry an hour later. Tasty, though. Nice silky consistency, but lingering flavours that outstay their welcome. 

Chips undercooked. Rice overcooked. 50/50 split. 

It hurts me to say it, but the 3in1 reign is finished. The good days are long behind us, and we're all searching through the rubble to salvage what little hope there is left in the world. What was once a national staple, has been reduced to a phoned in, overpriced tray of unending mediocrity. 

I am privileged to have lived long enough to see the Curry House stand proudly; and while heartbreaking to see it fall, twas bittersweet to witness Connie's rise from the ashes. 

I fear not for myself, but for my children. What does the future of the once mighty 3in1 look like for them? Perhaps my ancient scribblings will be all that remains of them by the time they come of age. Each review, a digital time capsule into a once delicious, but forgotten past. 

The death has occurred of the 3in1. House private. Family flowers only. 

4.2 2024-04-12 19:22:36 Recently I asked the publ.. 171 +4% 18 +62%
My years of being smashed in the square in Dundalk seem to be a foggy distant memory. Back then the hardest decision you'd have to make in life was whether to devote your attention to the fairy liquid foam erupting out of the fountain, or settling on which brawl was actually worth watching. Greatest days of our lives and we didn't even know it. 

Now that I'm older and hangovers instill more fear than a declined card transaction, I only gravitate to the square to get smashed....burgers. We're in smashersdundalk

A welcome newcomer to the town, although I was hoping for a much needed barbers/cafe/vape shop. Oh well. Can't win em all.

Everything on this burger was class. Lovely sear on Patty and Selma, crisp savoury bacon, thinly sliced pickle(tg cuz I don't really fug wit thickles) , gooey cheese, crispy onions, and a house sauce that would put yon golden arches to shame. Heard the owner's a pure clown anyway.

This thing is pure tasty. The expertly layered toppings ensure that every crumb is going into your gob and not onto your lap. Less is more when it comes to burgers as far as I'm concerned, and these guys smashed it. Pun intended. No overcrowding, yet every ingredient gets it's time in the spotlight.

Don't be trekking over to Drawda for one a their poxy burgers. You'll only catch a speech impediment over there. The good shit is right here, bang in the middle of town. 

Better yet, Smashers have joined forces with thebartenderdundalk so you can now get one of Dundalk's best burgers in one of Dundalk's best pubs. Best linkup since Tommy McConville joined the Lilywhites so it is sure ya know yer self ah ah ah would ya stawp hey lookit

MONTOWN

8.5 2024-04-04 16:39:59 My years of being smashed.. 237 +44% 9 -19%
There's a burrito place in Portadown! After eating out of the local Spars for the last month, I'm actually shocked that the area has welcomed any potential for flavour. Must've been mentioned in the Good Friday Agreement that if the brits had to extract their soldiers from the north, then the north would have to extract the flavour from it's food. 

This place is called Pico Burrito. 

They didn't have pico de gallo.

Naieve of me to assume that a burrito place that's called Pico would have pico available, so that's on me. 

Anyway.

Brisket was actually quite nice. Crumbly and tender.

Huge helping of Mexican rice, some kidney beans which looked fresh out the can, scabby dollop a guac, etc etc.

Good selection of store bought sauces, but used verrry sparingly. Basically just drizzled on the guac and nowhere else. Surely making a few house sauces would be more cost effective and would mean my bowl wasn't as dry as a Cavan swimming pool.

Pretty bland overall, but as filling as it was boring.

The food in Northern Ireland makes me feel like I'm being punished. Chicken fillet rolls don't exist. 4in1s are a thing, but you have to ask for a half and half with chicken and curry sauce. Who has time for that? Absolutely nobody. Call it a 4in1. There's a lot up for debate up here, but surely we can all unite on this front and accept that a 4in1 is a 4in1.

Oh yeah, the bowl. 

4.1

Let me know if there's anywhere to eat up here that doesn't taste like I'm serving 25 to life plz 2024-03-29 23:37:19 There's a burrito place i.. 43 -74% 7 -37%
Can't understand why bbq isn't more prevalent in Ireland. Cooking meat for way longer than necessary is in our dna. The spire in Dublin actually started off as a syringe, and grows by 2mm every time someone orders a steak well done. 

The north seems to have embraced the low and slow lifestyle, thank christ. We've ditched our aluminium charcoal trays and made a beeline for holysmokesbbqshack

Brisket and Short Ribs both come with burnt end beans, corn bread, and enough chips to get you barred from the casino. Wee mac and cheese chaser for good measure.

Brisket was the MVP here. Fall apart tender with beautiful smokey flavour. Willie Nelson would be in his element. Meat melts in your mouth faster than a jesus wafer. Sauce clung on well, and blessed it with the holy trinity of sweet, smoke, and tang. Excellent all rounder. 8.7

Short rib also crumbled quicker than an American marriage. Super tender, but lacked any real bbq flavour. My smoke detector was on, but it was not beeping. Majority of the conservative helping of sauce was also on the fatty half of the cut, so the limited meat was left to speak for itself. Nothing to write home about unfortunately. 6.8

Beans very tasty. Heavy on the black pepper which I really enjoyed, and made a great smokey companion to the fries. Great flavour, but I would've liked if the sauce was a bit thicker so it could cling to the beans instead of my chin. 7.4

Mac & cheese was mac & cheese. 5
Corn bread was bread. 5

Brisket was well worth the pilgrimage up here alone. Wait time wasn't bad at all considering how busy it was either, but definitely expect a queue when you land. Hype train is showing no sign of slowing down, so hop on board when you can. 

Up Armagh! 2024-03-14 23:23:19 Can't understand why bbq .. 98 -40% 10 -10%
I've been surviving out out of the petrol stations of Northern Ireland for the past 9 days. A truly grim existence. Seasoning your food, and using your indicators seem to be strictly prohibited. I've forgotten what salt even tastes like. Eating has become a chore. No wonder hunger strikes are all the rage up here. 

VR Fire and Smokehouse was a beacon of hope for my deprived tastebuds. What I initially thought was a mirage, turned out to be an actual real life bbq spot. In Newry of all places. It's about damn time. Hopefully the much needed flavour injection to the area. 

Smoked meats are only available after 5(wtf) , so we hit the lunch menu. 

Chilli Fries were excellent. Meat was well seasoned and tender, while the cheese sauce added great flavour and creaminess. Chips were crispy albeit frozen, but did a great job hauling the chili to my face. Honestly one of the better loaded fries I've had in quite a while. 

Compliments end here. The Fury Wings were a huge let down. I expected Tyson, and I got Tommy. Server warned me of the high scovilles, but there was no heat whatsoever. I mean zero. Meant to be Ghosts and habaneros in this. Wtf. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.  The chilli fries legit had more spice than these wings. Even Dj Khaled could happily demolish these. IYKYK. The chewy skin could've benefited from another couple mins in the frier. I also disagree with the cheese sauce drizzle. It's just another unwanted method of heat extraction. Worse than your other half hogging the duvet. 

Mac & Cheese was also bland af. No love put into it at all. A sprinkling of savoury crispy bacon bits or some chipotle would really kick it up a notch, and add the smokey flavours that one would expect from a smokehouse. If only there was a smoker nearby to lob it into. Starting to doubt if there even is one. Probably just some yungfla out the back vaping liquid smoke in the walk-in.

Delighted to see a much needed bbq spot in the area, but dissapointed that there's so much room for improvement. Seems like they're playing it overly safe to suit everyone, but bbq isn't about playing it safe. 

Wings and Mac get a generous 1.0

Chips 7.8 2024-03-06 00:06:04 I've been surviving out o.. 85 -48% 10 -10%
On Christmas Eve, I kept up my tradition of buying the bulk of my gifts at the last possible second. I found a half decent photo frame in my closet and decided to gift it to my parents, accompanied by a tasteful high quality print of their favourite child(me). Plan was to leg it into the Kodak shop across from the Marshes to get it printed, and when I landed there I noticed that the shop had been transformed into a cafe/pizza place. Been that way for 18 months now apparently. How bout that. Nothing gets past the FRHQ. 

There seems to be a welcome influx of Italian eateries in town ever since Vito from The Sopranos started reppin The Lilywhites. Coincidence? Haven't seen any gabagool popping up in the delis yet anyways. 

We're in cremaegusto.ie. Fine Italian sandwiches, coffees, deserts, and pizza. Of course we're getting pied up.

Went for the Diavalo. Razor thin salami, little pieces of some sort of sausage, EVOO.

Marone.

This is the best pizza in Dundalk as far as I'm concerned. I don't care how Italian these lads are; this is the closest thing to a New York pie I've tried here. Light pully cheese, crust begging to be folded, just oily enough to keep the napkin dabbers at bay. Heavy NY slice vibes. 

Walked in here in Vans and jaywalked out in a fresh pair of Timbs with a bag full of mixtapes to unleash on the unsuspecting public. 

Phenomenal stuff here. And to think I didn't know the place existed a month ago. I'm actually raging that I've been unknowingly depriving myself of these killer pies for all this time. Knee slappingly good. Light crust with nice chew, tangy sauce, perfect amount of cheese, heat from the meat, and can be picked up one handed. Ticks every single box for me. 

Good riddance to Kodak. 

9.8 2024-01-19 18:15:13 On Christmas Eve, I kept .. 164 -0% 8 -28%
I was concerned that if another coffee spot opened in the square, a portal would open up and swallow Dundalk into the oat milk dimension. Thankfully the prophecy has not been fulfilled.

We're in coylesbakehouse which is nestled safely under the Dark Horse(rip) umbrella, right around the corner from Coils Vape House. It's not really called that but it should be.

Today's contestant is the Breakfast Sambo. Bacon, egg, rocket, and forbidden relish on freshly baked focaccia. 

Bacon is cut thick, and as crisp as a fresh pint a Harp. The sweet relish cuts through the saltiness of the bacon, while the rocket and charred bubbles add some bitterness to balance everything out. Horrid harmonious altogether. 

Again, simple sandwich, but just taken to the next level with balanced flavours and quality ingredients. Obviously the bread is the standout here. Homeboy's up earlier than Mark Wahlberg slapping dough balls and it shows. 

Unsurprisingly delicious. Stall in for some baked goods and broaden your horizons with some of their vegan/veggie options. You won't find much fresher than this. 

Montown

8.2 2024-01-12 17:38:21 I was concerned that if a.. 135 -18% 7 -37%
Jonesborough was once a mystical land of availability. A place where you could procure totally legitimate cigarettes, recently pre-owned power tools, damp fireworks, bum fight dvds, chipped PlayStation games, and BB guns, to list but a few. The Sabbath day was truly a time to behold back then. 

It was there that I broke the 8th commandment for the first and only time. Turned out 2024-01-12 01:08:59 Jonesborough was once a m.. 193 +17% 10 -10%
Buying discounted denims in Banbridge is hungry work. Alterations, then alliterations.

Hello. Happy New Year. This little page just turned 5. Old enough to wipe its own arse bejayziz. Half a decade of beige Instagram posts cluttering your feeds. You are most welcome.

Today we're in the beautiful blendandbatch for a breakfast bap. House made sausage patty, crumbly black pudding, cheese, hash brown, fried egg, rocket, and a brand of relish that was most likely served with Epsteins in-flight meals.

This thing is a beut. The sausage is the real MVP here; savoury, tender, and full of flavour. Beautifully cooked runny egg was absorbed by both the bread, and crisp hash brown, which added nice body to each bite. Leave your bib in the car. Healthy handful of Clonikilty's goated black pudding just elevates every sandwich it's presence graces. Same goes for rocket really. It looks great, while boosting your health stats by 4 points, and adding a light pepperiness. The relish adds a smooth layer of bitter immorality, but leaves a pleasantly sweet tangy finish.

These guys have taken a basic menu item and just made it better. Really well done.

Dessert section also looked ridiculously good, so make sure you're wearing tight undies if you plan on browsing for an extended period.

Do I bother with scores any more? It was very good like.

Eh 9.6 2024-01-09 23:06:24 Buying discounted denims .. 85 -48% 6 -46%
2023-11-10 22:55:33 159 -3% 13 +17%
The Filthy Animal is back, and so am I. The most anticipated food based return since the trailer for Good Burger 2 dropped. So much so that it was completely sold out by noon on launch day. 

Christmas sandwich > Christmas Dinner. My DMs are open. 

Also if you think it's too early to say the C word, you are a C word. 

This sandwich is more than just turkey, ham, stuffing, and gravy. It's nostalgia. It transports me to my parents' couch. Dec 25th. 7:45pm. Any year. I'm 7 cans deep and  considering battering out an espresso martini to shake the grogginess of nap #2. Kate Winslot can be heard hogging a door over the roaring flames that had easily cradled me into my aformentioned slumber. The roses tin has become a seemingly endless maze of empty wrappers, making the search for sustenance an arduous task with rapidly dwindling rewards. The leftovers from the bountiful feast we had prepared earlier taunt me with every visit to the fridge. My peckishness is upgraded to ravenousness. It is then that I know I must dust off the old George Foreman and prepare the best sandwich I can, with the mountain of savoury ingredients avaliable to me. It represents me. It is who I am in that exact place and time. It fills every void and satisfies cravings I didn't even know I had. The takeaways are closed, but I don't care. Every painstakingly prepared ingredient sits comfortably within the confines of buttery toasted bread, eagerly awaiting a gravy plunge. Hours and hours of work and preparation transformed into a handheld feast, fit for kings and queens alike. It is everything I want. Could be the imperial stout talking, but this is the greatest sandwich of all time, and I am a god. 

Then macs_coffee did it better. 
 
Theirs is a 10.

A perfect score. 

Sorry, Mam. 2023-11-05 19:14:33 The Filthy Animal is back.. 200 +21% 7 -37%
Finally got to board the hype train to Belfast. We're in flout.pizza

These pies are as sought after as tickets for T-Swizzle, and equally as hard to get. We were lucky enough to get our names on the pot, and a Detroit style pie awaited us. Pretty sure it's called Detroit style cuz it looks like a car that had it's rims stolen.

My palms are sweaty. Fresh cheese, box is heavy. Hot honey on my sweater already, mam will dead me. 

Anyway. Unlike Taytay, dis pizza hella thicc, and somehow cheesier than her music. Top notch mozz on top, with a layer of slices edging the pan to give it that beautiful crispy parimeter. Crust left a decadent buttery aftertaste. You'd know your boy got a thesaurus for Christmas. 

The base was crisp and airy, and chewy enough to be Han Solo's bff. Nice change of pace for me to actually take time to chew pizza instead of eating like a seagull like I normally do. 

Beautiful pockets of sauce spread across the pie. Fuckin great sauce. Both texturally and tasterally. 

Pepperoni excellent, and spread edge to edge. Had a sleeve of rennies on standby, but they remain unopened. Fear not, they will not go to waste. Future drunk frhq will make great use of them before bedtime. 

They claim that this pie will feed 4, and for the first time in human history, I think this claim may be correct. It's very filling, but doesn't weigh you down. Explain that one, science nerds. 

This was my first time trying a Detroit style pie, and while it's not something I'd usually go for, I was very impressed with the quality. Special shout out to the dough. Just as beautiful as expected. Very excited to try whatever this place has to offer. They're not here to play games. 

The hype is real. 

8.3 2023-07-19 22:03:15 Finally got to board the .. 125 -24% 7 -37%
Oh, Canada Day. A day to celebrate all things Canadian: leaf appreciation, Shania Twain, the cast of 'Are You Afraid of The Dark?', mooses, and the Canadian 3in1: poutine.

ouipoutine are the nations representatives this year.

Poutine is a comfort food favourite beyont, comprised of fries, gravy, and cheese curds. You can add other stuff but we're going for the traditional tray.

Nice crispy fries, gravy is savoury albeit quite weak, and the cheese curds provide saltiness and different textures depending where it is in the melting process.

I was hoping this dish was gunna go for the Canadian stereotype of being overly nice, but instead decided to go for the 'bit boring' trope. Gravy should've been the star of the show here, but it really didn't do anything to stand out. Tastebuds were doing overtime trying to find it tbh. 

The curds displayed a stretchy cheese pull, while the lesser melted few provided a nice chew. While it was a generous helping of cheese , it's saltiness took away from the rest of the flavours.

All in all this was fine. Is what it is, kinda thing. Gravy chip with cheese. Wouldn't be booking flights over to try it anyway. I'll just go to escape the cost of living/housing/energy/healthcare crises instead.

Sorry Canada, no apologies from me.

2023-07-01 18:27:43 Oh, Canada Day. A day to .. 81 -51% 6 -46%
Connie's is one of those cash only Chinese takeaways that opens for about 43mins total a couple days a week at what feels like random intervals, with zero online presence, yet always has a queue. 

The last standing member of the legendary Lam dynasty. A history filled with fame, quarrels, betrayal, and delicious curry.

Connie's late father, Wah Sun Lam, was the first Hongkonger to call Dundalk his home back in the 70s. Mr Lam gave the town it's first taste of Chinese cuisine when he opened 'The Mandarin' on Clanbrassil Street. Success was no small feat considering a gone off pint of Mcardles was probably the spiciest thing anyone had tried at the time, but it was a hit. 

The Lam childer each went on to honour the legacy their aulfla created. Each member creating their own menus and recipes in their own restaurants. 

His son opened the Sing Li Van and then later went on to run the famous Curry House. He sold the van in 1984, but kept his original secret Sing Li 
curry recipe with deal being that he would be the van's main supplier. Allegedly, the recipe was pieced together by the new owners through some dodgy dealings, cutting out Mr Lam, and is the famous sauce we all know and love today. Sneaky sneaky. Netflix doc is gunna be wild. Allegedly. 

One daughter went on to open the recently closed, but ever popular 'Sun House', and our Connie is the last one standing. 

The curry here is outstanding. Nicest in Dundalk for sure, and a hard one to beat elsewhere. It's silky smooth, perfect balance of sweet and spicy, and clings onto the chips for dear life. It's also a palatable heat. Nothing to be intimidated by. Like it's hot enough that your tongue would throw on a pair of shorts, but the top is staying on. 

Chips and rice cooked perfectly and got that perfect 3:1 ratio, with plenty of that golden nectar to go around.

Mad to think that one lad's move to town would create 5+ decades of unforgettable curry experiences. Legendary carry on.

Connie's is really flying the flag here and reppin the family name in a big way. If you're ever fortunate enough to see the place open, get your ass in there ASAP and prepare to have your life changed forever

9.6 2023-06-30 00:36:46 Connie's is one of those .. 457 +178% 26 +134%
Nanny Hughes Pizza has recently joined forces with their sister coffee shop 'Egg' in Crossmaglen; and have created kis_pizza_coffee.

My first ever pizza review was in Nanny's, way back in 2019; a historic FRHQ moment. I was just a boy. Since having my first Kis, I feel like a man.

Went for the Italian Stallion. Pep, nduja, hot honey. I don't know what ndujas are, or how to pronounce them, or where they came from, or what we did to deserve them, but I'm so glad it's here. If I see it, I'm ordering it. idgaf. Same goes for hot honey.

This pizza was fucking class. Shockingly good. Besides having a terrible name, I really can't fault it, it had everything. Fresh gooey mozz, fragrant airy crust, even topping distribution, light yet filling, and hella flavourful.

Seriously impressed with this place. Greeted with a smile and the smell of fresh coffee the moment you open the door, and within minutes you've got arguably the best pizza in the northeast in front of you.

Even the fuckin chips were class. Came in this cute little cup but homeboy LAYERED THEM IN. Layer of fries, seasoning, sauce. Repeat. Every single fry had sauce and seasoning, and their wasn't a single one you couldn't pick up by hand. Attention to detail here is next level. Glass bottles of coke and all. 

Of course the donuts were unreal too wtf. Ah here. 

Don't know what Cross did to deserve this place but yiz better be grateful yiz bastards. 

9.9999 2023-05-07 17:33:45 Nanny Hughes Pizza has re.. 193 +17% 14 +26%
Biden may have been shpinnin' round town, but there's only one Joe I'm willing to go see.

We're in Joe's Shop & Deli, situated in the heart of Dundalk between the meccas of Sitar and  Tata's.

I didn't get to witness a human skeleton with a weak shcan game doin laps, I did however get to witness a masterclass in roll assembly. Condiments first, salads, cheese, meat, cut in half by default. This is the standard by which all delis should operate, and this is the standard here. 

Everything here was super fresh. Bread was soft with some bite in the shell, chicken was tender with nice seasoning, and the beautiful manner in which this was constructed meant that my lap didn't see a single crumb.

If you see a deli operator that doesn't have a staff training sheet signed by Joe, walk the other way. This is how it's done. No exceptions. 

While I never talk about the price, I will say that you will not see value like this in any chain deli around. Serious bang for your buck in this spot, and local as can be.

Eat the town.
Eat the rich.

Joe, get on insta.

9.8 2023-04-13 16:54:41 Biden may have been shpin.. 410 +149% 25 +125%

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Tracked since Sep 29, 2025
Updated: Sep 29, 2025
Time Zone: Asia/Kolkata

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